Secret Sex

You are cordially invited to the wedding of

Graham & Sarah

29^th May 12pm 2012

Yours sincerely the loving parents

OR NOT!!! This loving relationship was soon ripped apart when my beautiful ‘bride to be’ friend came to me with the words every bridesmaid dreads. “I can’t marry him!”

But this is not a story of affairs, broken hearts and crying. That can wait for another day. No, this is about a short 9 months later the ‘devastated’ ex calling me for sex!

It started off simple enough. A little bit of flirting over Facebook, but no more than banter about the boudoir shoot I had done previously. It then moved up to ego boosting compliments, which I enjoyed and to be fair did not stop or discourage. Then it was merely a hop, skip and a jump until he was asking me over for ‘fun times’.

The ex bride in question is very unlike me. Physically, she is athletic, dark haired and small and has never, ever discussed sex, EVER! Which begs the question of what Graham* is like in bed!!!

He talks of the ‘fun times’ we can share and how secret sex will be amazing.

However the girl in me has queries and questions.

• What if I’m bad in bed? It’s a genuine concern as with any new lover, but as a friend, certain expectations are involved.
• What if he is bad in bed? I’m not that good an actor and will be mega embarrassing if he pulls down his pants and reveals a teeny tiny cock!
• What if someone finds out? I do not want to be someone’s sloppy seconds.

In the name of sexual health research I would be ready to jump in, but as we all know. Secrets never stay silent, especially when it comes to sex.