The Handshake

On Plenty of Fish I had lots of interest from lots of ‘interesting’ men. They all made me laugh in their own little ways and my findings are the following.

Each profile was different, yet each one scarily similar. Each person has their very own USP (unique selling point) whether it is their hobby of ‘sellotaping cats together to make one massive cat’ or excessive iron pumping, which makes them shockingly orange. And all men are unique due to their ‘love of mad nights out and chilled nights in with a DVD’ which I can only assume they write to cover all bases and make themselves more appealing to all women.

As I didn’t really go searching for men (I just left them to find me) I quickly found ways of weeding out the odd ones. Any messages that were subject titled ‘Hi’ were pretty much deleted on sight. As far as I’m concerned if you can’t think of anything better to say, don’t say anything.  The people I messaged back the most were the funny ones, ‘sellotaping cats’ got an instant reply, foodies and film people also got a chance.

I did have some serial offenders that regularly sent replica messages, which described their nervousness as they were new to the site. Ha, so nervous they forget to keep track of who they message and too nervous to send individual messages. I think not.

I did however get messages from seemingly normal men, got some numbers and offers of dates. As previously mentioned in an old blog I am awful at dating! My mouth, usually spouting any old rubbish that enters my head; drastically changes to a dried up empty hole of nothingness. My confident, creative hands get sweaty and jelly like and feel my back curl over into an excellent hunch back impression. This was going to be tricky.

I planned to meet Mr Tall* on a cold winters night at the Christmas Markets. At a whopping 6ft 6in he was not hard to miss stood outside Starbucks. I had approached the surrounding area with my friend and clung to her behind a bus stop, whilst I searched for his towering figure. We had a lovely evening together and my only annoyance was I never removed my coat, which hid my outfit that I had spent several tortured hours putting together. Soon enough it was home time, Mr Tall offered to drive me to my friends house and as I felt safe and happy to accept.

Now this is the tricky bit. As we pulled up outside my friend’s house in his BMW panic set in, he turned to face me.

So in my panic’ed state I put out hand and embarrassingly shock his hand!

What a great last impression I made :0(