My date history has been some what interesting! Fraught with falls, false teeth and fumbles!
I can’t remember a definitive dating period with Jeremy. We drunkenly met several times, spent a week together at his university watching QI in bed and fell comfortably in to a relationship without the lusty dates where I wished he would hold my hand or kiss me unsuspectingly.
My last 'thing' I had with FD did not require dates. Just dark, quiet trips to the cinema and late night visit to his house. Not fun!
One man, I met on a night out seemed such a gent. We briefly meet and he instantly asked for my number. He turned up at my door in his new BMW and whisked me away to a far off cinema to see a film I had mentioned. All was going well until he commented on my how lovely my teeth were. “Odd”, I thought, not your typical compliment. “Yeah” he followed on, “Mine were knocked out twice, so these are false!” he said pointing at his odd pearly, perfect front teeth! Kissing, after that point was off putting and I was in constant fear of sucking them out or finding them in my mouth. There was one other date (so not to seem shallow), but this date then showed his love for Harry Potter, which was significant enough for him to wear a Gryffindor scarf!
There was also the guy from work, who was HOT! On our first date I thought everything was going great, we laughed at the same things, read the same books and both loved the Big Lebowski. Whilst driving home he said “What’s the first thing you think of when walking through a field?” Thinking initially of flowers and sunshine, I opted for something normal only to be corrected by him “NO, man traps!” There was no second date!
My one and only blind date (not to be repeated) was with a man who laughed hysterically when I accidentally tripped as I walked towards him. As I had never met him before I thought this a tad harsh, only to find he was wearing one golf glove. My mishap was an accident; his on the hand was a purposeful clothing choice! This was followed by me breaking my new, bought for the occasion, belt (again to howls of laughter). And he repeated on cycle that his ex girlfriend was the ‘fat one’ on Grange Hill.
With my first love McCartney* our first date was Valentine’s Day, where I proceeded to ‘romantically’ pick his food and gave his incredibly sensitive tummy a shock with spicy sausage. This was a mistake as we were home by 9.30!
Considering my shocking history of dating, I still hold on tightly to the romantic notion that they will be amazing and fun.
Oh well, at least so far they have funny to experience and fun to retell.
Ever the optimist xx
